I’ve been drowning a lot lately, constantly aware of my deepest emotions.
Going numb is no longer an option for me but the thought is tempting.
The shots have already been fired, filled me with holes that I cannot run away from.
When will this all end?
Is it when the darkness takes over?
Or is it when the light breaks free?
But if things get too complicated I’ll remember to take it slow, take time for myself and regroup.
There is nothing quite like self preservation, it’s simple and sweet.
However when sleep eludes me I endulge in the very thing that is slowly killing me.
For I am now constantly aware of my own mortality.
It gives me a unique perspective, like I know something everyone else seems to overlook.
My own little secret.
But this too shall pass, just like everything else before.
The light shall beckon me and I will be whole once again.
Not right now but some time in the future when everything is alright with the world and I can truly smile again.
That is what I think of when I am drowning.